This week’s video demonstrates why less is usually more when it comes to descriptions, character actions, and more.
Video Transcription: In our desire to make our scenes come to life for our readers, it’s often tempting to throw onto the page as many tantalizing descriptions and vivid metaphors as we can think of. If one vibrant image is good, then two should definitely double our money, right? Ironically, however, just the opposite is true. As Jane Lebak, author of Seven Archangels: Annihilation
and The Guardian
, once pointed out to me, Sometimes 1+1=0. Two is bad. Give the reader one thing to concentrate on. Pick the better of the two.
I stumbled across a good example of this in a recent reading of a young adult book. In it, the author describes the vivid nightmare of a dying World War II vet, who dreams that while in the middle of battle, his body starts to fall apart. The author writes about the “body breaking into tiny bits, crumbling off his trunk like cheese being grated from a slab—or like a leper, unraveling.” Her first image, of the cheese grater, is a marvelously powerful bit of writing that conveys her meaning perfectly. But the tacked-on second image of a leper adds nothing to the scene and, in fact, only detracts from the power of the first image. It’s almost as if the author were afraid her readers wouldn’t get the first description, so she threw in a second as a safety net.
The strength of vibrant images is that they are capable of standing alone. If it needs propping up with a second or third description, then it probably isn’t that vibrant to begin with and needs to be rewritten. Trust your readers to get what you’re saying the first time around—and enable your word pictures to stand on their own by remembering that, often, less is more.
Related Posts: Metaphorically Speaking
Details: Bringing Fiction to Life
Describing Characters
Story by K.M. Weiland
Tags: Description , Metaphors
Very informative. Thanks!
Thanks for the good advice!
That was excellent! Thanks!
Glad you all enjoyed it!
Excellent post! I'm trying to keep this in mind as I write the next chapter in my WIP.
You made a good point about the leper description taking away from the the (much better)cheese grater image. Good advice.
It's a good way to slim your word count too!
Great vlog post, and so very true. Less is almost always more.
We so often think we need to pad our words, but it's amazing how sleek and fast they are when we cut the dead weight.
Ha! My problem has never been too many words. I suffer from not having enough and I struggle to reach a decent word count.
Maybe you can blog or vlog on that topic and explain how to do that without adding too much description, unnecessary fat, or veering away from the purpose of the story.
Just a thought. ;)
I'll definitely keep it in mind, but since it's a not a problem I've ever personally encountered, I don't feel qualified to expound on it too much.
Thanks for the mention!
Thanks for the help!
@Philangelus: My pleasure!
@Kelly: Glad you found it helpful.
Very true. Using too many metaphors or similes is like putting too much salt in a dish.
Good comparison. Salt is great; metaphors are great. But overuse either and the dish is spoiled.
Wonderful. Thanks for this :)
Cops can tell if a suspect is lying by how hard he/she tries to convince the cops they are telling the truth. The more details the suspect adds, the more suspicious the cops become.
Maybe writing is like that too. Is the author saying, "Do you believe me, huh? Do you?"
@Tabitha: You're welcome. Thanks for stopping by!
@Lorna: Fabulous comparison! I'll have to remember that.
Excellent, as always. It's funny, I just read the YA book you were quoting and I thought the same thing ;o)
Great minds think alike and all that! ;)